Top 10 Things You Should Never Do During a Divorce

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Divorce impacts every aspect of one’s life, I am dedicated to making that transition as smooth as possible.

I have developed a list of 10 things you should never do during a divorce process and I think that will make the process a little bit easier:

1.     Never disregard your children’s feelings – or allow yourself to believe that your children don’t need you in their lives;

2.     Never use the family court system to do battle with your ex – the need for revenge can be costly and the only one to pay, in the end will be you;

3.     Never refuse to negotiate or mediate a divorce settlement – put your emotions aside, take care of the business that needs to be taken care of and then deal with the emotions separately;

4.     Never refuse to communicate with your ex – unless the relationship is abusive, if you have children together you should always be willing to communicate in a civil and respectful manner with your ex.

5.     Never play the blame game – blame or causing anyone else to feel shame just because you are experiencing a negative feeling is unacceptable and counter-productive;

6.     Never be afraid to tell the truth;

7.     Never believe you didn’t play a role in the marital problems – it takes two to build a relationship and it takes two to destroy one;

8.     Never make assumptions – don’t assume that your ex is angry and out to destroy you.  Know the facts and base your opinions on them;

9.     Never fall victim to your own expectations – we don’t always get what we expect so the best thing to do is not expect anything and be willing to accept what you get;

10.  Never allow your emotions to rule your actions – if your spouse has left and filed for divorce it is time for you to take action.  Don’t sit and cry in your beer hoping they will come back.  Get yourself an attorney and do what you need to do to protect yourself; and

11.  Never pass up the opportunity to forgive – if you cannot forgive you will never be able to do anything but make do and suffer the consequences.

Everyone of the items listed above I have seen done over and over by clients.  I hope this list helps you recognize any of the behaviors you are exhibiting and that you make needed changes so that your divorce is a little bit more amicable.

-Jonathan J. Fogel